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Blessed Are the Children
By
Jaron Summers
Dear Mr.
Yasser Arafat,
As the leader of the Holy Roman Empire, I and the rest of the civilized
world, are appalled by your encouraging suicide bombers, little more
than children, to enter various pizza restaurants in the state of
Israel, blow themselves up and kill innocent citizens. Isn't there
something we can do to stop this violence? After all it is Easter and
Passover. And you people just celebrated your New Year.
Sincerely,
Pope John Paul II
VZY
VZY VZY
Dear Pope John Paul II,
I do not encourage anyone to blow themselves up. I am open to any
solution that might deal with Israeli's illegal occupation of our
homeland. The United Nations says they will help us but so far, no one
has appeared. I cannot control the Palestinian children. Doesn't the
Vatican have its own army? Perhaps they could help. Happy Easter.
Yasser Arafat
VZY
VZY VZY
My Dear Mr. Arafat,
The army that we have here at the Vatican is mostly for show. They do
not even carry guns. But since you have so many children who are
wasting themselves with explosives in your homeland, I, this day,
dispatched a group of priests to talk to your young would-be bombers and
help them understand the divine principles of God, the Father, Jesus
Christ and the Holy Ghost.
Pope John Paul II
VZY
VZY VZY
Dear Pope John Paul II,
Your delegation of priests -- all wearing black robes -- arrived a few
hours ago. When we did a security check on them, we discovered that
most of them have been either charged with pedophilia or convicted of
child molestation in their respective countries. Although they seem
anxious to meet with our young suicide bombers, I don't know if it will
be healthy for the children themselves to have sexual predators
intercede in their lives.
Yasser Arafat
VZY
VZY VZY
Dear Mr. Arafat,
Now, look, let's not quibble over what has been misinterpreted as simple
brotherly love by enemies of our religion. The priests I have sent to
you people are of the highest moral character and want only to meet with
your children to teach them sound moral principles. As my Ambassadors
of God spend time with your youngster, I promise you will see a change
in your kids, especially the boys.
Pope John Paul II
VZY
VZY VZY
Dear Pope John Paul II,
I reviewed your last letter and have considerable information on your
priests. Apparently, at least six of them were attacked by their own
parishioners after they were found to have fondled and seduced small
boys while they were teaching them Sunday School lessons. We were about
to expel them from our midst when they escaped. Thank you for your
attempt to solve our problems but we are going to have to pass on your
offer of intervention.
Yasser Arafat
VZY
VZY VZY
Dear President Sharon,
I understand that you have detained and arrested a group of my priests
who are visiting your county. These priests are serving God on a
mission of mercy. They are in the Holy Land to help bring peace to the
Jewish and Palestinian people.
Pope John Paul II
VZY
VZY VZY
Dear Mr. Arafat,
I appreciate your efforts to bring peace to the Holy Land, however, we
found six of your priests at a bar mitzvah talking to some of our
children. Your priests were naked and they were trying to undress our
kids. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. We gave your boys a good
shaking and they are in jail now waiting deportation.
Ariel Sharon
VZY
VZY VZY
Sharon,
First you kill Jesus Christ, now you spread lies and vicious false
accusations about members of our clergy. Worse, you physically attack
our people. Okay, the gloves are off. As far as I'm concerned, the
Palestinians are giving you what you deserve. Don't ask for our help in
the future.
Pope
copyright
2002 Jaron Summers
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